I'm going to jail i love you
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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