You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize