So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
