why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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