So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
