come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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