Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
