these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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