I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
