Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
