So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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