Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
