Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I could fuck to npr.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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