Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
