Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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