I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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