I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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