would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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