Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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