The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
