they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
