I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
