PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize