Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize