he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
it glows. i had to have it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
