***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
