Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
