he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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