It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
