What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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