nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
