ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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