That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
