Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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