bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
