I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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