their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
