jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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