omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
