considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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