he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
