Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
