Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
