walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
