$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
