He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
