i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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