Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize