I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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