I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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