what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
