where does the pee come out of this thing
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
