who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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