so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
