You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
