Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
