I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
