Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
