Will you blow on my dice?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
