also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
