I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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