I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
