So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
